Commandment dating ten validating on submit
I just mean that I’ve taken a close look at my dating history, and I’ve come to the conclusion that men aren’t always very nice. That particular masculine scent or the way they carry themselves? We’ve learned how to build happy, independent lives. And it never hurts to avoid controversial topics on a first date such as politics and religion. There’s not a bigger turnoff on Earth than a man trying to educate us on our own opinion or, heaven forbid, attempt to educate us about our experience of being women, you know from the male-privilege point of view. And I find it a wee bit insulting that we’re skipping getting-to-know-each-other part for the getting-each-other-naked part. Foreplay includes that slow build-up of getting to know one another—taking those smaller steps along the way. Particularly since size doesn’t necessarily equate to knowing how to operate said equipment. And why ask to see us naked before you’ve actually seen us, you know, clothed? We all have our points of insecurity, but we all find confidence to be sexy. Have some consideration for the feelings of others and not just your own feelings of fear and avoidance of conflict. Maybe you’ll be the one to remind us that you have wonderful hearts and souls, and we’ll be happy to spend as much time in your company as we can.
I could discuss at length why I think this is: poor societal socialization, the ever-present double standard, mothers coddling their sons, fathers absolving their sons of responsibility, a learned disrespect for women, male privilege or just plain bad manners…or most likely a combination of all of these things. So when we go out in the dating world with all of that self-love, we’re really looking for a man who can add value to our lives. We’re looking for men who can be strong partners, who are confident and secure in themselves. Who can respect our education and work experience and full lives and add to it with their own. If they come up and you disagree, it’s entirely okay to get into an argument about it and to return to more neutral subjects. It seems a sad, strange business, particularly when you’re saying you want a relationship. It’s attractive when someone is body positive and secure about who they are and how they look.
Just listen to your date, share your thoughts, and enjoy the moment.
Sales of Author's Previous Books: Samuel Adams, Psy. He earned his master's from Western Seminary and a doctorate from George Fox University.
I believe it can be very helpful for those struggling in the world of dating. While “opposites attract,” the authors point out that those “opposites” are often in the “minor” areas of the relationship.
Here are the commandments, with very brief summary notes. Those that don’t risk living the “un-life,” which can be characterized by desperation, dependency, and/or depression. While there’s value in romance, feelings, and emotions, there’s a counter-balance that must be employed, and that’s called “thinking.” They suggest a proper balance between head and heart, avoiding going too fast, involving others in your dating process, and evaluating along the way as helpful steps towards exercising your mind. The areas that can be “compromised,” never in the “major” ones. “Take it slow, to get to know.” COMMANDMENT #5: Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries.
The dilemma is how can you tell if you are being wise and prudent or picky and selfish?
We therefore thought it might be helpful to suggest commandments for dating, and this chapter is our attempt to distill some of the concepts we have developed about relationships into useful guidelines.